just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize