sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
