Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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