HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
