so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
