There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
