Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
