All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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