I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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