You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
