Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
