is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
