Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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