Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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