I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
