so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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