i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
