Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
