Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
