We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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