; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
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He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
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So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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