I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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