East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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