my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
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It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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