Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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