I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
