it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
