I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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