I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Randomize