yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
