he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
