i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize