I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
