is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
