We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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