Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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