i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
