saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
