Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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