He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
