you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
