i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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