I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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