You're so nebulous sometimes
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
even my farts smell like vagina
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
