Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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