Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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