I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
