Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
