I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
