by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize