I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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