Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
