i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
