please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
