the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
