did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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