So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
