Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
