I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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