I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
not ubering you a puppy
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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