Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
