she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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