Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
